Raising Boys to be Godly Men: A Christian Mom's Guide

As a mom of four boys, I understand the weight of raising them to become godly men in today's society. It's not an easy task, with countless distractions competing for their attention and pulling them in directions that could lead them away from God's plan. However, with intentional parenting and a nurturing environment, we can instill truths from God's Word that will guide them through life.

Now, let's be real - I'm not a perfect mom. I've made mistakes, and still do, and I learn along the way. But I want to share practical tips for Christian moms to equip their sons with the tools they need to become strong men of God, who walk with the Lord and serve Him.

The Current Challenges Faced by Christian Mothers

Christian parents today face countless societal and cultural obstacles that directly impact how we raise our boys. With media influences and peer pressure constantly at play, it's easy for their moral compasses to be skewed. On top of that, our fast-paced lifestyle and the constant influx of information from technology leaves little time for intentional spiritual growth and reflection.

Yet, as Christian mothers, we are called to be a guiding light and to point our boys towards godliness, no matter the challenges. The good news is that God gives us everything we need to raise our kids in righteousness. So, how can we successfully navigate these obstacles and raise our sons to become strong men of God?

The Importance of Raising Strong Boys

Strong men serve as pillars in both society and the church. Unfortunately, the rise of women empowerment has diminished the value society places on men, leading to a lack of respect for traditional male roles and values. But as Christian moms, we have a unique opportunity to raise our boys with godly principles and equip them to become influential leaders in their communities.

Following the leadership of a man who has wisdom and integrity, seems to be a lost art in this culture. It's looked down upon by too many. Mama, don't fall into that narrative. Raise those boys to be godly leaders, and let God show up to move in their lives. Won't He do it! And doesn't our culture need it!

Here are some tips for how we can steward the responsibility of raising our sons with purpose and intentionality.

1. Model godly behavior

2. Establish family rules and routines 

3. Nurture a positive self-image

4. Foster brotherhood

5. Spiritual growth as a family

6. Cultivate an atmosphere of love, grace, and understanding

7. Integrity and honesty

8. Independent Bible reading and prayer

9. Godly male role models

10. Gentlemanly behavior

Practical Tips for Raising Strong Boys

1. Model godly behavior

As parents, we hold immense power to shape our children's lives. It's more than just passing on knowledge and lessons. It's about molding their character by leading with godly behavior and instilling biblical values. The old saying "Do as I say, not as I do." just doesn't cut it. Our children and teens are constantly observing our actions, and it is through these observations that they learn to differentiate between right and wrong. It's important to be mindful of our own behavior and ensure that we are setting the right example. By modeling godly behavior and teaching them biblical values, we have the incredible opportunity to profoundly impact our children's lives. 

2. Establish family rules and routines 

Establishing rules and routines for your family is vital for a peaceful and organized home. By not only setting rules, but also demonstrating godly values through your own actions and habits, you can deeply influence your child's understanding of what it means to live a godly life. As a result, family routines that reinforce godly living can unite and give purpose to your household, as everyone works together towards the shared goal of pleasing God.

Related: 7 Tips for Establishing Family Routines That Work

3. Nurture a positive self-image

Fostering a positive self-image in our kids and teens is a common goal for all parents. In today's culture and with technology, they often battle comparison and insecurity. But how can we ensure that our boys grow up with a strong sense of self-worth and confidence? One way we can do that is by celebrating their character, strengths, and unique qualities. By pouring into them the truth of who God says they are, and who He created them to be, we can help them build confidence that doesn't come from the world.

Why is this so important? Well, healthy confidence and self-esteem are crucial for success in both personal and professional endeavors. When they believe in themselves and their abilities, the sky's the limit. They will be able to conquer new challenges, take risks, and overcome obstacles that come their way. Of course these things are paired with spiritual and personal growth, prayer, and faith. However, embracing their unique qualities and understanding their worth through Christ Jesus will lead to confidence in doing what God has called them to do.

3. Teach healthy communication skills

Communication is the foundation of all relationships. Boys who are taught the art of clear and effective communication are better equipped to navigate interactions with authority figures, friends, and other relationships. Communication is as important of a for a young kid as it is an adult. Teaching to speak up in important situations, how to use their voice, ways to respond when you disagree, and learning how to listen with respect empowers boys to take ownership of their relationships in a healthy way. With these important skills, boys can have more meaningful experiences as they journey through life. 

4. Fostering brotherhood

Having strong brotherly relationships not only allows boys to build a sense of camaraderie and belonging, but it also teaches them empathy, conflict resolution, and accountability. These skills are essential for healthy relationships in all areas of life. Having truly close, godly friendships is a special thing to find. When we encourage our boys to be a good friend, they start to understand how their actions and words can impact another person's feelings. This is a valuable lesson that will help them throughout life.

5. Spiritual growth as a family

There are a lot of ways to grow closer to God as a family.  We can have meaningful conversations about faith, attend church together, and create prayerful moments throughout the day. The more we talk about our relationship with God, the easier it is to make Him a part of our daily lives. As parents, we should model a strong relationship with God for our boys, so that they can learn from example what it means to foster an intimate relationship with God. It's such a powerful thing for kids to see their parents in the Bible and praying.

Being intentional to create time for spiritual growth as a family, allows our kids and teens to see the importance and to experience how God will show up when we invite Him to. We pray as a family before bed. It's a habit for our family now, and they automatically meet us on the bed to pray after getting ready for bed. Sometimes we practice memorizing scripture, read a devotional, read a chapter in the Bible, or just have a little conversation and prayer. By investing in spiritual growth as a family, we can even create strong bonds between us that will last long after our children grow up. 

Related: Creating Meaningful Moments: Starting a Family Prayer Time

6. Cultivate an atmosphere of love, grace, and understanding

Creating a home environment that promotes love, grace, and understanding is crucial to building strong family relationships with both parents and siblings. This means setting a tone of kindness and compassion, even in difficult or confrontational situations. It involves listening to one another, respecting boundaries, and practicing forgiveness. When family members feel valued and safe within the home, everyone can thrive and grow together. By prioritizing love, grace, and understanding, families can build a foundation that supports one another through life's challenges and celebrates each other's successes.

7. Integrity and honesty

Honesty is about speaking the truth, while integrity is about doing the right thing, even if no one is watching. Sometimes, it may seem easier to lie or bend the truth to avoid consequences or to get ahead in life. However, in the long run, being dishonest can lead to negative consequences, including loss of trust and respect from others. On the other hand, being honest and possessing integrity can lead to a clear conscience, positive relationships, and a sense of pride in oneself. Therefore, in any situation, it is always best and it's biblical to choose integrity and honesty, even when it may seem difficult. After all, doing what is right will always be the best choice for our own well-being and that of others.

Teaching our boys integrity at a young age is so incredibly important. We cannot expect them to have integrity when it comes down to a moment, if we haven't set them up for success before hand. They need to understand what it means to have integrity. What does it look like? What feelings do I have when I'm not responding with integrity? What can I do to make sure I avoid temptations and things that might compromise my integrity?

Make sure, too, that your boys know where they can turn if they struggle. If they feel shame or awkwardness, they may not speak up. Leaving the lines of communication open, judgement free, allows them to know that they can come and talk to you, their dad, or another godly mentor in their life.

Furthermore, teaching our children about the consequences of dishonesty and lack of integrity is equally important. By explaining to them how being dishonest can damage relationships, harm others, and bring negative consequences upon themselves, we are equipping them with a moral compass that will guide them towards making the right decisions in life. Talk about and memorize scripture on this topic, and you will be laying a strong foundation of integrity and honesty.

8. Independent Bible reading and prayer

It's a parent's responsibility to raise our children in the way of the Lord, instilling in them the values and principles that will guide them throughout their lives. Encouraging the habit of independent Bible reading and personal prayer is a great way to start. When our boys get in God's word and learn the teachings and wisdom of the Bible, they will be better equipped to face challenges and make decisions that honor God. Also, showing them the importance of regularly praying for wisdom will allow them to deepen their relationship with God, listen more closely to the Holy Spirit's guiding in their life, and make wiser decisions.

9. Godly male role models

Mama, it's important to understand the significance of having godly male role models in your kids and teens' lives. These individuals can provide guidance, support, and serve as positive examples for your children. However, it's crucial to be cautious and safe when determining who you allow around your kids and teens. Safety should always be a top priority, no matter how well you may know someone. With that being said, finding trustworthy and upstanding male role models could prove to be pivotal in helping your children develop and grow into healthy and successful adults.

10. Gentlemanly behavior

In today's fast-paced world, embracing chivalry and gentlemanly behavior might seem like a thing of the past. However, being a gentleman isn't about being outdated or overbearing, but rather understanding the importance of respect, kindness, and consideration. It means holding open doors, offering a helping hand, and treating others with care. While these actions may seem small, they can go a long way in brightening someone's day and making the world a better place. Not only does it make a positive impact on others, but it's also being a light in the world and showing the love of Jesus everywhere you go.

Christian Values and Teachings

Core Christian values, when properly instilled, can significantly shape a boy's character and worldview. Some of these values include:

• Love and compassion: Teaching boys to love and show compassion towards others is one of the most important lessons parents can impart. This enables them to develop empathy, understand the needs of others, and be kind-hearted individuals. This does not mean teaching them to be tolerant. We should never accept or validate those who are living in sin; but what I've seen over the years, is that often times Christian become calist and judgemental towards people who sin differently than they do. We should hold to our values, while also remembering that our war in this world is not with people. It's a spiritual battle. And people's souls are worth fighting for. We cannot do that if we do not love others and have compassion.

 

"He answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,” and “your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27 (CSB)

 

• Honesty and integrity: To simply reiterate what was said previously, teaching our boys to speak the truth, even when it is difficult, and to stand up for what is right will help shape their character and build trust with those around them.

• Humility: In a world that often values pride and self-promotion, teaching boys the importance of humility can be challenging but crucial. By modeling humble behavior and teaching them to serve others instead of seeking recognition or fame, we can raise humble young men who prioritize the needs of others above their own and give God glory in all they do.

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" Micah 6:8 (KJV)

 

• Forgiveness: As Christians, we are called to forgive those who have wronged us. Teaching boys about forgiveness not only allows them to experience God's love and grace in their own lives but also enables them to extend that same forgiveness towards others. The truth is, forgiveness is hard to give. When we can be honest and let them know that, then they will see that we are all human and struggle with the same things.

• Responsibility: Boys need to understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. They should learn to own up to their mistakes, rather than deflecting blame onto others. By teaching them this important life skill, we can help them develop into responsible young men who take ownership of their choices and contribute positively to society.

• Respect: Respecting others, regardless of differences or differing opinions, is crucial for building strong relationships and promoting a peaceful society. Our boys should be taught to treat others with kindness, compassion, and respect, no matter their background or beliefs. As they grow into men, this will help them become leaders who bring people together rather than divide them. If we are honest, we would like to do unto others as they have done to us sometimes. Regardless, when we choose not to, we are finding ourselves exhibiting many of the above values - integrity, humility, forgiveness, and taking ownership of our own decisions. That shows great character, and can ultimately point people to Jesus.

"Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12 (CSB)

Discipline in Christian Upbringing

Discipline plays a pivotal role, too, in Christian upbringing. It is not about punishment, but rather teaching and guiding children towards making good choices. According to the Bible, discipline is a form of love that leads to wise living (Proverbs 13:24). As parents and caregivers, it is our responsibility to train up our boys in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6) and discipline them in love.

Related: What Does the Bible Say About Disciplining Your Children?

Conclusion

While the journey of raising godly men is challenging, rest assured that the rewards are worthwhile. Christian moms, take heart in the journey and be encouraged in your noble task. It's not up to us what our boys ultimately do in and with their lives; but with God's help, and alongside your spouse, you can raise your boys to become strong, compassionate, and godly men who will make a kingdom impact. Let us continue to pray for our sons and trust in God's plan for their lives, because He has great things in store for them. As we pour into our boys' lives, let us also continue to surrender them to God and seek His wisdom and guidance every step of the way. May we be reminded that it is not our efforts alone, but by the grace of God that our boys can grow up to become men after His own heart.

Related: A Mama After God's Own Heart